Oh, I've never been to the Midwest! I heard it's where companies test all the weird flavors for junk food, like gravy soda.

[A silent laugh.] Be careful what you wish for blah blah, right?

No, just naked and confused and bizarrely horny after eating some stuff I probably shouldn't have. I wandered out of the woods and the locals threw me in a cage. It was... a lot.

But! I acclimated pretty quickly. I miss modern technology, but it's not all bad here at all.