"Go to the Moots. They got one every Thursday," Joan says, ignoring any implication that she might be a victim. Talking about tough treatment is something different. It's taking back control. People don't have to react to it. It mostly makes them uncomfortable, and that suits her fine.

"If somebody presses charges against you, you gotta, like, comply with their judgement. But if nobody presses charges, they don't consider it a crime."