Xichen carefully schools his expression, but there is a flash of dawning horror when Jin Guangyao explains. They both know why either option would be, well, a hurdle for Xichen.
There are The Rules, of course. The Wall of Discipline looms over Xichen even so far from home. But he has been known to bend or break the rules when he deemed it necessary. There are many, many rules Xichen would break for A-Yao, had the other man only ever asked.
(Not anymore, of course. He has no right to even think of his friend in such a way when he betrayed so, so much.)
"I imagine by violence, sparring alone would be insufficient. And by intimacy, A-Yao does not mean just a hug or holding hands."
There are other implications there too, ones Xichen knows if he dwells on for any length of time, he may crumble into dust.
Maybe...
Maybe being some beast and disappearing into the wilds would be easier.
no subject
There are The Rules, of course. The Wall of Discipline looms over Xichen even so far from home. But he has been known to bend or break the rules when he deemed it necessary. There are many, many rules Xichen would break for A-Yao, had the other man only ever asked.
(Not anymore, of course. He has no right to even think of his friend in such a way when he betrayed so, so much.)
"I imagine by violence, sparring alone would be insufficient. And by intimacy, A-Yao does not mean just a hug or holding hands."
There are other implications there too, ones Xichen knows if he dwells on for any length of time, he may crumble into dust.
Maybe...
Maybe being some beast and disappearing into the wilds would be easier.